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When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love
Free Download When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 4 hours and 37 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Oasis Audio
Audible.com Release Date: December 30, 2012
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00FED5ZSA
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
The promotional description should have made clear that this self-help book is Christian in orientation.
I love this book because it is simple and easy to read. It covers the basics without going into lofty flights of prose and thought. Just what you need to do, and that's it. That doesn't mean taking action is easy, but their goal is give you understanding as simply as possible.This is not a theology book. It's a practical how-to book. You'll find some Scriptures, and it's written from a Christian worldview, but mainly Thomas and Chapman draw on their years of counselling experience. The facts of sin and repentance are already assumed; they're out to tell you how to put that knowledge to practical use. They had a lot of stories with couples, singles, young and old, family and friends, to give a wide scope of how these principles work. I found the life experience aspect a refreshing inclusion.In some ways this book was a hard, hard read. I have an extremely tender conscience, with an extreme perfectionism streak. This makes it difficult to accept messing up, while at the same time I don't like ignoring what I've done wrong. It is difficult to go through the apology process, but the older I get, the more I want an authentic, growing relationship with Christ and with family and friends. In that sense, it was convicting.On the other hand, some of it was incredibly healing. The author duo explain that it's not wrong to want justice, as long as you handle that desire righteously. Nor does forgiveness mean that your memory is wiped of the event. Nor should you allow people to manipulate you with poor and insincere apologies.Nor should you implode and refuse to forgive yourself.As for the apology languages themselves? Oftentimes the way you give an apology is your personal language. So think of the last one you gave, and what you said--any of the phrases up top ring with you? My apology language is Expressing Regret, with Accepting Responsibility being a close second. (Though in rare cases I feel pretty strongly about Making Restitution.)I appreciated this teaching, would highly recommend it, and hope to read it again. I think I'll need some time to fully process it; but I was so blessed by When Sorry Isn't Enough, and I hope you will be too.
I can say this title says it all. I repeatedly tried to say I was sorry and I wasn't getting through. This book gave me the insight that there are five love languages and guess what five languages for saying I'm sorry. It wasn't an instant cure but the information did help eventually have my apology accepted.
TLDR version: If you're a human being, like myself, you make mistakes. In fact, you probably make mistakes, just like I do, every day. But how often do you actually reconcile those mistakes? What impact does that have on your interpersonal relationships? This book is a great guide to navigating that, but also to be more in tune with the language of apology and repentance (not in a religious facet). I'd say that this isn't a silver bullet, but should be coupled with counseling if you have important personal relationships in real jeopardy.More detail:This book analyzes apologies and pushes you towards understanding not only the value of a good apology, but how to make sure you're most effective in delivering that apology. To be clear, this isn't a book that teaches you how to lie through an apology and get away with things, but a book that teaches you (with examples) how to deliver a sincere apology and what happens next. It goes through several hangups that may be stopping you from reconciling with loved ones, and is realistic about what to expect after.Keep in mind that this isn't a silver bullet or a step-by-step guide on how to reconcile, but it certainly gives you a good framework to go from. There's an aspect of self-discovery involved, and even after the apology, this book is clear that you're at the mercy of the recipient of your apology, so no false promises of being forgiven right away (or even at all!).Now, the less than awesome (at least in my mind). This book assumes some level of Christian faith, and while that's not always a bad thing in moderation, this veers over towards more of a religious counselor style book at times. If you're not Christian, portions of this book that use examples from the Christian texts may bore or just water the point of the story being told down. Ignore the religious aspects and focus on what the moral of the story being told is, and you'll get through it.
This is a book that follows the same ideas as the Five Love Languages. The information is practical and to the point. Learning how to apologize on the level that a loved one or co-worker needs is the first step to repairing a damaged relationship. There are no guarantees that the person will accept the apology, or forgive, but working to understand the issue and meet them where they are is the first step. This book offers very helpful advice on repairing estranged or strained relationships within families as well. I would recommend this book for those looking to repair hurt or damaged relationships.
Excellent method for spouses, friends, coworkers to learn how to apologize and really convey that they mean it. The examples listed really showed the concepts in action, this is a valuable resource for counselors and therapists, would make a great "homework" resource for couples therapy.
Love Gary Chapman's books ever since I finished the 5 Love Languages. I read this in one afternoon. Pertinent information to what I have been struggling with and a book that I will likely go back and reread again some day.
I loved this book. It was easy to read and understand. As I read along I was able to quickly relate to things from my past as well as my present time. I was able to explain to other what Apologizing really is and what it isnt. I was able to come to terms with my feelings and what I do have control over. I would recommend it 1000%
I generally like Gary Chapman's materials but this is a sleeper, unfortunately. Content is fine; just not very engaging.
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